Saturday, 31 December 2011

Pingu, pine cones and stinky feet

It's a relatively late start today with everyone staying in their own beds until 8am and although I know that there will be parents around the world who have already completed half of their daily tasks by then, I still can't help but feel cheated. Mainly because Daddy is still in bed, again! I don't know why it is a given that unless it is a special occasion or I am bed bound then it is my job to get up with the children. I'd love to do as Maisy Middleton's mum does and just push Daddy out of bed however a tired Daddy = grumpy Daddy so instead I've dragged myself from the bed and finally made it to the sofa!

(BTW if you haven't read this to your little ones it's well worth the purchase. Our copy is over 20 years old and is still going strong!)

So instead I am sitting on the sofa watching Pingu with 2 little feet in my face attached to a cheeky 2 year old shouting 'tickle my feet, tickle my feet, tickle my feet' This might be made a little cuter if he was actually wearing some form of underwear!

The other little person is demanding breakfast (in a very polite voice in all fairness) and all I want to do is cry as I must have woken up with a pine cone lodged in my throat. I don't know how it got there (and quite frankly I don't want to know) but it's there and it's bloody hurting!!!!

Maybe it's time to wake up Daddy and demand that he looks after me as surely having a pine cone stuck in your throat is a serious medical condition.

I much interrupt my feeling sorry for myself rant as the biggest little person has just asked me a question which has left me a little perplexed:

S: Mummy do you know what rabbits eat?

Me: I don't do you?

S: Yes, they eat birds and boobs

Me: Birds and BOOBS?

S: Yes, birds and boobs (she then starts to laugh hysterically)

How does a 3 year old even know that boobs is a funny word! She honestly thinks that she is hilarious. I'm going to blame Cbeebies as there is no way that we have taught her such smutty humour. I always knew that there something a bit sinister about Show Me Show Me!! I mean how can they really be that happy all of the time?!

Disclaimer: CBeebies is a wonderful channel which we watch most days and Show Me Show Me is not only educational but it is also great fun. Well done BBC! Phew, thought I'd better get that in there!

So the time has come where I really should go and sort out some breakfast. S is chanting 'please can we have some cereal, please can we have some cereal' which means anything other then Weetabix. Cereal has been promoted in our house to special treat status. S & T only get cereal when they have been really good. I know many will think that this is cruel but it's so lovely so see how excited they get over a bowl of Cornflakes, stick in a few blueberries and they think it's Christmas. They're very easily pleased :)

Once the birds have been fed I am most definitely off to raid the medicine box as there is nothing at all pretty about a Mummy feeling sorry for herself!

Friday, 30 December 2011

After party update...

Well we've just arrived home after our New Year's eve eve party and I thought I'd give you a little update. The kids are sound asleep and Mr Blueswing has gone straight to bed, trying to recover from last nights very heavy night with the boys!

What a wonderful evening we've had! Picture 9 children aged 1-8 running around, laughing, chasing, shouting, crying, playing, eating, messing and generally having a great time. Well that is exactly what we have just had for the last 4 hours. It was perfect!!!

Thankfully the Mr was feeling a tad tender and couldn't face a drink so I managed to have a cheeky red wine with a lovely cup of tea in-between (a definite sign of getting old)

So here I am sitting on the sofa with a full tummy and a rosy glow to my cheeks looking forward to my bed. Sending a big thank you to our fabulous hosts and luckily we get to do it all over again tomorrow, happy days :)

New Year's eve eve

Today our little family will be attending the first of 2 New Year parties (not sure how this has come about but we are)

Over the course of the last 5 years the impact that New Year's eve has our lives has changed dramatically. No longer do I rush to the shops searching out that perfect dress that'll wow everyone and set up the New Year nicely. No longer do I talk about New Year for an entire week and plan the evening with meticulous attention in the vain hope that I manage to see everyone who is important to me. No longer do I buy ridiculous amounts of alcohol including those bottles which I don't drink namely brandy, whiskey and gin just because it's New Year and I feel like I should. No, instead I throw on anything that I have in my wardrobe, preferably something warm and that sexy word - cosy! I then have to pack a bag for the children, again warm, cosy clothes, an extra change of clothes, zillions of pants and socks, coats (as you never know when they'll end up in the garden) and then of course jarmies so that if they do fall asleep it isn't a total nightmare. Then really we should stick toothbrushes in there so that we can actually brush all of the sugar away that they will have been fed over the course of the evening! Or do we accept that it's New Year's eve and the other kids are likely to have their teeth brushed, one night won't do them any harm, or will it? No the guilt of the possibility of life long bad teeth with ensure that the toothbrushes are also packed.

So now that we're all sorted in terms of what we're taking we now have to decide how we're getting there! Again something we wouldn't even consider when we were young and fun. No, it was a taxi all of the way, absolutely no discussion. Children however change all of this and as this evening's party is a 20 minute drive either myself or Mr Blueswing will have to drive. Dumdumdum!!!!! So how do we decide who pulls the short straw. Well, technically all of the other families there tonight are Mr Blueswing's friends, old school friends, his best buds so in his book that would make it only fair for him to have beers with his mates and so naturally Mummy will be on the water!

The great thing about tomorrow evening's party is that we can walk there and back so both can enjoy a cheeky tipple and as long as it isn't absolutely pouring with rain have a very pleasant (romantic even) stroll home seeing in the New Year together with our little people. Of course we'll be walking past party girls and boys heading off to wild events in their wow dresses and yes I will have a moment of envy. Wanting to dash home, throw on my glad rags and dance the night away. That thought will quickly be chased away by the lure of my lovely warm bed and my fluffy jarmies, much to Mr Blueswing's despair. I already know that even with the best of intentions to see the New Year in at the party with all of our friends we will be listening to Big Ben's chimes in bed, commenting on how extravagant the fireworks are considering the "current economic climate' and being thankful that we aren't queuing to get into a hideous bar at 12am only to then feel the need to kiss a bucketful of strangers.

So yes, times have changed and although we don't have the freedom to go from party to pub, back to house party and home at 5am, I really couldn't think of a better way to spend New Year's eve then with my fabulous little family (apologies Daddy if you've read this and it makes you feel a little sick from the soppiness)

So here's wishing you all a wonderful New Year whether you're hitting the tiles, hibernating for the evening and everything in between.

Who knows what 2012 is going to bring, hopefully much of the same for us.

Happy New Year everyone, enjoy xxx

Thursday, 29 December 2011

Damn you Crunchie!

Day 3 of officially tracking my calorie/food intake and I have discovered that I have eaten 8 crunchies in 3 days!

This surely can not be healthy but I simply have no will power. I would love to blame Gran who bought me the multipack for Christmas, that would make me feel so much better. However the reality is that I love them and could eat them all day long!

Just looking at this picture makes me want another. At least if I keep eating them eventually there will be none and then I can wean myself off of this this dreadful Crunchie addiction.

Until then thank Crunchie it's Friday!

And for the children this...

How amazing would this be if you were 10?! In fact how great would it be to have your best pals over for a sleepover whilst Daddy takes this kids to see Granny and Grampy. I could imagine some funky curtains for each bunk, perfect for late night reading, giggling, telling ghost stories (I am back to talking about for a 10 year old here)

I would have been in heaven with this bedroom and from a Mummy's point of view it's a major space saver! All I need are 4 four children (of the same sex) to share it....

For my next home I would really love....

A truly fabulous games room like this:

I've never really fancied a games room and only ever considered it as something that would keep Mr Blueswing happy but this.....well this is just perfect. I love how cosy and classy it manages to look. No harsh black furniture or hard seating. Just lots of space to sit and relax once the little people have retired for the evening. I wonder how I could fit this into our current home, hmmm, maybe if we sacrificed 2 bedrooms we could just about squeeze it in. I'm sure I could sell this to the Mr, as long as there's space to fit his piano and the bar is stocked with whiskey oh and maybe every Friday evening the lads can come round for beers and poker. I'm actually starting to talk myself out of this...

Wednesday, 28 December 2011


It's always good to have honest friends and I definitely do. I recently bought my wedding dress. As soon as I saw it I knew that it was the one. It was however used from Ebay which meant that if it didn't fit then I could't have it. Arrggghhh, no pressure. As girls do I took my trusty best pal with me to help get the dress on. The dress, although a dress size smaller was described as being large fitting so I didn't think for one second that it wouldn't fit. The little 'eek' from Nic who was standing behind me suggested otherwise. Being a determined girl, Nic would not be beaten by a stupid dress.  I was then bent over whilst Nic hoisted this zip up (thankfully not nipping my skin) until I was finally squashed in. I was still hoping that even though I was unable to breathe/move/talk comfortably it still looked fantastic and the pain was hidden. This was not to be the case as Nic then announce that 'you definitely need to lose about half a stone as your back is squashed up that much it looks like a bum' Now only a true friend can really get away with making such honest statements. I am of course thankful as I know of some people who would have told me that I could get away with it and then would snigger when they saw the pics.

Of course I have now bought the too small dress (at a bargain price) and now have the challenge of losing 7 pounds to destroy the back bottom!!!! And so the title of this post is my new tool against fat. It's an app for my iPhone which allows me to input everything I eat and do and calculate how many calories I have for the rest of the day. I'm only up to day number 2 and have seen 2 days where my calorie intake is highlighted in red! Maybe the Christmas holidays isn't the best time to start!

Anyhoo, my weight loss ticker is at the top of the blog so feel free to snigger when my weight yo-yos. If you are keen to lose some Christmas bulge too then you can become my Myfitnesspal buddy. Just sign up and search for me lozzy55!!

I will get into that dress, I will get into that dress, I will get into that dress!!!

Becoming a wife

So it's just over 6 months until I officially become a wife! I already feel / act like one but still the idea of it becoming official frightens me. I've spent 30 years with my name which I often get called as opposed to my first name and I suppose I've grown to love it. Yes, I want to have the same name as my children, the driving force for getting married but I can't help feeling that I'll lose a part of me, the silly young girl driving around in a battered Renault 5, wearing pink hats and falling asleep in lectures! Maybe I'm trying to cling onto something that I lost a long time ago.

Of course being a wife is a very grown up role. You need to be responsible for not only your own well being and feelings but also those of your husband. Yes we have children and so have something which ties us together but the reality is that if I wanted to run I could. No messy divorce, no need to tick the divorced box on any deeply intrusive forms. Instead once we're married if I decide that that little twitch he does in his sleep actually drives me to the point of wanting to kill, then there's no easy way out. Unless we went through the shame and scandal of D.I.V.O.R.C.E then I would be Mrs Twitch for the rest of my life.

The added bonus is that my married name will instantly make me stand out as Kate and Pippa are currently taking over the world. Who would have thought that the name Middleton would become so well known and on trend!

I imagine that every bride/groom to be has a moment of panic, I'm fairly certain Mr BlueSwing has had plenty. His normally results in an all day crisis session with his pals and a very sore head the next day.
So please feel free to offer any words of wisdom, get out clauses, better ideas (only joking of course)

Wednesday, 14 December 2011

A lovely warm (useful) pair of crocheted hand warmers

I am most definitely into my crochet at the moment and was trying to think of something that I could make that would be useful. Given the current cold weather hand warmers are rather on trend and so I decided to make some with a twist....

Now I don't have a problem with my left and right but I do know a lot of ladies (yes, sorry ladies) that do. So not only will these lovely things keep their precious hands warm they'll also ensure that they know which way they are going!! I am pretty pleased with myself. Do please excuse the picture below - I didn't have a grown up volunteer and although the little people were very keen to help it wouldn't have had quite the same impact!

The sometimes frightening world of social networking - Take this lollipop if you dare!

I have just clicked onto something that I really shouldn't have done! It was absolute peer pressure and foolishly I gave in against my better judgement.

The link if anyone gets a kick out of being terrified:

Of course the fact that it was asking to connect with my Facebook should have made me quickly click the little x, but no, I had to do it!

All that I can say is that I am not going to sleep easily tonight.  Once entered you follow the camera to a man sitting at his computer. He looks like a character from The Hills Have Eyes or Wolf Creek (if you haven't seen either movie, don't!) He logs into Facebook and searches. To my horror my profile page came up. He scrolled through my pictures and my friends. He then types my location into Google maps and gets into the car with my profile picture stuck to the dash board.

To say that I am disturbed is an understatement! I am in a way, however, pleased that I have had this terrible experience. I have been forced to check my Facebook, Twitter and Blogger privacy settings, personal info and profile pictures. My Facebook profile picture was actually a picture of my 2 beautiful children making this even more disturbing.

So how much information are we really putting out there? Are we in any more danger from the 'bad people' then we ever have been or are we now super aware of all of the bad things that happen? Should we really post pictures of our children onto social networking/blogger sites? I really don't know the answers to any of these questions but I do know that whoever created that page is absolutely responsible for me getting no sleep tonight!!!

To buy or not to buy...

So it's that time of year again and money is tight. As per, I end up in the position of finding something that I actually need, namely new jeans at a rock bottom price.

Only £7.50 delivered!!!! 

Unfortunately Santa has forced me to ask the question 'do I absolutely need these jeans now??' Of course the answer is no as I still have 2 pairs of jeans (yes only 2) that are suitable for everyday wear and really can get away with wearing other leg attire. However, will I simply end up paying full price in 2 months time when one of my 2 pairs splits at the crotch flashing my zebra print pants to shocked Daddies at school? The simple answer, yes!

I already have a pair of these and they're lovely and no matter how many times I say they're only £7.50 the little voice coming from my money spreadsheet whispers 'that will buy you 2 cartons of milk, a loaf of bread and a tub of lurpak' Grrrrrrrrrrr, who has such spreadsheets anyway?!

Hmmm, to buy or not to buy.... probably not!